The other day I was thumbing through some quadratic equations as I mulled over some alluvial deposits from a Roche Moutonee to illustrate latter stage glaciation when it occured to me how little of the mass of facts and theories I crammed at school all those years ago have seen the light of day since.So I had an idea.
What about recycling all that book learning for the modern World? What about applying some of that hard earned scientific knowledge to current day social situations? There's a best selling book here so I baggsy this idea first, although if you want to contribute ideas they will be extensively acknowledged in 7pt Times Footnotes at the back.
OK, here's my first application of old Science to New Society. Newton's Law of Cooling.
Newton's Law of Cooling states that the rate of change of the temperature of an object is proportional to the difference between its own temperature and the ambient temperature (i.e. the temperature of its surroundings). That is to say the higher the differential, the faster the rate of cooling.
Imagine you are Brad Pitt, one of the coolest people on the planet, attending a convention of Red Dwarf devotees in Droitwich one December, one of the least cool situations he could find himself in. The rate at which he will lose his credibility and "cool" will be extremely fast due to the vast discrepancy between himself and his surroundings. Leonard Cohen being interviewed by Steve Wright's Posse would be a similar sharp gradient of cooling.
Next week - Boyles Law applied to Jeremy Clarkson.
12 comments:
Oooh Please Sir - I can state Boyle's Law - so can I be the one to apply pressure to Jeremy's big head and watch it get smaller and smaller in direct proportion!
Pleese.
Very Good Kaz. I'm worried Clarkson's designer jeans would inflate disproportionately which we don't even want to think about.
Brad Pitt isn't that cool. I know he says he likes Nick Drake but really he likes Phil Collins.
On the other hand, if all the readers of this blog went, en masse, to the Red Dwarf convention, the sudden blast of Arctic air would be so intense that it would instantly become the coolest place on the planet.
Much of science passed me by, I'm afraid even though I managed to obtain C grade O levels when a C grade meant getting rather more than 18% of the questions right as it does at the moment. I can remember that stuff about every action having an equal and opposite reaction which presumably means that were I were able to drop James Blunt from a high building I may receive the overwhelming thanks of mankind in general.
Geoff: You gave me a flashback to Phil Cool then!
Z: An excellent point, well made. (I'm posing a bit though because I love Red Dwarf!)
Richard: Newton's Third Law of Motion - I'm sure it covers Blunt Objects. And he probably would!
Well, so do I. But the programme is fine, it's the convention that lacks cool. Until we turn up, of course.
I only found out why Rimmer was called Rimmer last week. My daughter had to explain it to me.
Z: Right on!
Ziggi: I'll think you'll find (adopting sarcastic Rimmer voice) his surname comes from a snobby prefect who went to the Red Dwarf creators' school and does not have rude undertones. Your daughter needs sending to bed with no tea.
I'm a fan of Red Dwarf too, and I think I have a friend who is too, because I noticed the other day that she has a Smeg fridge.
Dave: The trouble with Smeg Fridges is...It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere...
Oh dear. I'm afraid I put Red Dwarf in the same category as coffee. The taste never matches the anticipation caused by the aroma.
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