Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Raga & Bona

I thought you might like to know that our internet rag and bone business is battling through the recession by trimming an already ragged budget to the bone. The latest initiative is to dispense with the Dynamic Doblo for deliveries to the Post Office and replace it with a much more efficient set of wheels which will cost less and be kinder to the environment.

The latest transport has a fuel economy of 0 gallons per mile on a mixed urban cycle, negligible maintenance costs, built-in air conditioning and very low emissions (depending of course what I've had for lunch).

There are other advantages, of course. This being Norfolk, the fact that it is not a car means that people won't point at it as it goes past. I may also be able to build up a sideline in knife sharpening and handing out goldfish to young children ( making sure that I don't get the two services mixed up!)

The only down-side is that the open access trailer could present a security threat and be an invitation to light-fingered thieves to make off with valuable packages of rag and bone stock. Fortunately we have the perfect ready-made deterrant which will see off any criminals who may be in the vicinity.

"Make my Day, Punk!"

17 comments:

Dave said...

I was going to say something about nodding head dogs on the parcel shelf, but I see Richard had the same idea on Facebook, so I won't put my spoke in.

Liz said...

Oz is so cute!

Sarah said...

Handing out goldfish to children? Isn't there some sort of register against that?

Trouble is once you have both your body guards in the trailer there won't room for rag 'n' bone...a rucksack...

Dave said...

On reflection, I think the saying is 'put my oar in' isn't it?

Forget I spoke*.


*Do you see what I did there?

KAZ said...

Lovely as it is - it should of course be a horse and cart a la Steptoe.
Or possibly an Oz and cart.

Rog said...

Dave: I'm thinking of putting a clip on the internet. Not YouTube but InnerTube.

Liz: Oz thinks so!

Sarah: I'd only be giving out fish as part of a knife amnesty. You have a point regarding spce - I may have to turn the trailer into a double-decker.

Dave: * I wheely did.

Kaz: Hercules Unchained! That's what they refer to me as. "Oz and Cart" - very good! My new plan has been a little thwarted this morning as it is absolutely pissing down.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

A bicycle clip, that is?

Rog said...

Christopher: Not the whole clip, just the trailer.

Richard said...

This time next year, Lily, he'll still be riding this bloody thing.

Z said...

Bona Rag & Bone? - are Lily & Oz changing their names to Julian and Sandy?

Rog said...

Richard: No, we'll me miwionayres!!

Z: Oooh you are AWFUL!

Geoff said...

Bonjour, M. Hulot.

Betty said...

Not a very practical vehicle for the genuine rag and bone man. How are you supposed to carry pianos and old mattresses?

Rog said...

Geoff: I think I should start smoking a pipe.

Betty: Mrs Rine accompanies me on the piano. She's not sure about the old mattresses though.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

On mature reflection, i.e. after a siesta and a scratch, I'm really quite uneasy about this enterprise. The folk of Norfolk may still point at cars but are you certain they can't tell the difference between dogs and peacocks? (I also wonder if they can tell the time, given the hour of comment posting next to the date.) But I'm sure you've done your market research and it could be that despite my misgivings you're on to a winner here.

john.g. said...

You said it was a rag and bone service, not dog collection!

Rog said...

Christopher: This blog is no place for mature reflection. I'm thinking of adding a taxi service to the business and changing my name to "Rick Shaw".

John: ...and a Dog Taxi business by appointment. (Rex)