I know you come here for witty insights into the human condition but sometimes one has to just chill out and take things a bit easy, if only for the hypertension.
Anyway here's a few snaps of the garden:
A is for Apples, teaming and heaving on the boughs and ready for 12 months supply of apple sauce.
B is for Busy Lizzies, always good value in a pot.
T is for Tiny Tomato, one of which has actually gone red. Hardly self sufficiency I know.
J is for Japanese Prayer Temple where we go at 5am every morning to pray to the Buddhist god Wickes.
R is for Runner Beans, the very best garden value. Excellent with everything from Roast Beef to Macaroni Cheese.
L is for Lillies. Excellent value and very attractive but liable to run rampant if unchecked.
B is for Bastard, the Mole who is causing me more grief than Esterharzy in Le Carre's magnificent opus.
And C is for Clarkson who appears on the lawn every day.