Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Blood on the Tracks - an apology

I'd like to offer a profuse and public apology to the driver of the 8:47 passenger train from Norwich to Cambridge this morning.

There are two unmanned foot crossings within a couple of miles of here and today we walked the dogs across the one where you can't see the signals. It was fine on the way over - there are only about 3 trains an hour and it's a straight piece of track.

On the way back, however, I ventured so far out of my comfort zone I almost required to show a passport.

I led the group, or rather followed the enthusiastic Lily on her lead, as I opened the wooden gate and ventured onto the line, glancing as I did to the right to see .... a train approaching at full tilt!!! I immediately pulled on the lead to get Lily back behind the gate but in doing so slid ass over tit on the wet wooden crossing boards and dropped the lead.
Let's sum up where we were at this stage:

1. Train fast approaching and driver frantically blasting hooter.

2. Me lying flat out across the track directly in his path.

3. Lily running around madly unchecked and dragging the heavy extending lead.

4. Mrs Rine behind at the gate dragging a reluctant Ozwald who was on a go slow.

I can't spin this out much longer as I'm starting to get flashbacks and the laundry bill is big enough as it is.

"Mrs Rine to the Rescue!" sounds like an Enid Blyton yarn, but she bravely pushed past me (?!) to grab Lily's lead whilst I creaked up from the wet wooden floor and limped across to the far gate just as the poor traumatised driver flashed past. The only injury was a strained finger.
I'm really sorry about this Mr Driver. There was a fatal accident last year at the next crossing up so this was certainly no joke. Please don't try this at home kids.
If you can come up with a better title for this post, however, I'd be grateful.


Sarah said...

Phew! blimey Rog, you and Dave should start a post traumatic stress counselling group. Is it something in the water in Norfolk I wonder...

Rog said...

Sarah: It's a 2 man campaign to disrupt the transport system here. There are too many cars here....I've even stopped pointing at them!

Geoff said...

Do you do the one where the front of the house falls down and your head goes through the window hole, too?

Z said...

You can see where Mrs R's priorities lie. Glad you're still alive though.

Roses said...

Between you and Dave, you're going to make me grey before my time.

Stop it. Stop it right now.

I don't need any more drama, thanks very much.

Vicus Scurra said...

In a break from tradition, please accept my best wishes. Hope you are OK.

Anonymous said...


How about 'The Tracks of My Tears'?(performed by the rather apt artists)

Sir Bruin said...

I thought it would only be a matter of time before you went off the rails.

Rog said...

Geoff: This was more a "traintoon" than a Cartoon.

Z: I think she did glance over to check I wasn't stuck down the rail.

Roses: I think that's exactly what the driver was saying!

Vicus: In another break from tradition, thank you very much!

Ad: The Miracles! Or the Pips - "Midnight Train to Gorge You" anyone? "Train Whistle Blowing" by the New Seekers.

Sir B: I thought it would only be a matter of time before you came up with that comment!

Richard said...

Gosh. And some rather stronger exclamations. Still, you're here which is the important thing I suppose.

Sir Bruin said...

Rog - I thought it would only be a matter of time before you said you were expecting that comment.

Rog said...

Richard: Thanks. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it but at least I wasn't abducted by aliens.

Sir B: Sorry, doesn't was faynights because I had my fingers crossed.

Richard said...

I always thought it was feignites. Is that a Kent thing, I wonder? Double feignites of course doesn't work and is an invitation to the forces of doom to wreak havoc with Chinese burns and stuff. Did you also complain about the other kids "choring" your stuff? "Where's your slate Roger?" "Dave East's chored it, miss".

Rog said...

Richard: That's spot on ... I think we've uncovered a Kentish dialect. There seems to be a word for "feignites" different in every County.
You need to join the Facebook group - "I call woodlice cheeesybugs so I must be from Gravesend"

Dave said...

I'm still ploughing through back posts, so have only just come across this. Sorry Rog, hope the finger's better now.

Rog said...

Dave: Thanks - I think it COULD have been worse!!!