Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Because of the Sand Which is there

...so Mark Thatcher is lost in a desert without food and water.

After two days wandering he is becoming delirious. Suddenly he sees a small figure in the distance and drags himself over to find a man in Arab garb holding a tray.

"Water???", cries Thatcher desperately.

"Sorry sir, I'm selling ties. Do you want to buy a tie?". The man profers his tray of bright fabric neckwear.

Thatcher is mortified and continues his wandering. He encounters three more of the tie vendors in the next 2 days but no sign of water. He is desperate.

The next day he is on the verge of giving up and pulls himself over another dune to suddenly find .... a beautiful Oasis Club with a swimming pool and people lounging at tables laughing and drinking long cool drinks under parasols!!!

He crawls along using every last ounce of remaining strength until he is on the edge of the buildings where a tall man in uniform comes out to meet him.

Thatcher looks up from the sand at the tall man. "Thank god I've found you! I've had no food or drink for 5 days...please let me in".

The uniformed man looks down disdainfully. "Not without a tie, mate!".


Dave said...

Boom boom. I certainly didn't see that punchline coming.

Well, not the first time I heard it.

Mind you, I was 5 at the time.

Sarah said...

Is that a joke?! and if it is what brought it on?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Sarah, are you asking Rog or Dave?

Rog said...

Dave: I think you'll find that Mark Thatcher was just a very dodgy looking gleam in Dennis's eye when you were 5.

Sarah: I wanted to cheer you up with a good old fashioned joke.

Scarlet: I think it was me. D'oh!

Geoff said...

The one I heard was Captain Mark Phillips on a horse with no name.

Rog said...

Geoff: Debutante, please!

Sarah said...

It did the trick....fell off my chair laughing!!

Dave said...

Mind you, she'd probably been drinking and would have fallen off her chair anyway.

Vicus Scurra said...

My preferred punchline would have been "Not unless you killed that bitch of a mother of yours, you dumb bastard".
I guess I am just a sentimentalist.

KAZ said...

(ROFL I just sneezed vodka all over my keyboard)
Couldn't his mother have used her influence?

KAZ said...

Vicus sneaked in there - now I see why his mother's influence wouldn't have worked.

Rog said...

Sarah: Good.

Dave: Bad.

Vicus: Have you got something against Mrs T? Did she nick your school milk?

Kaz: There's a lot of serious drinking going on here before the yardarm etc. Madame T looked so upset when Mark was lost but I think that was because he'd just been found.

Z said...

But why did you illustrate your very funny joke with a picture of *not flat but ever so dry* Norfolk?