Monday, 11 January 2010

Mouse Scalextric

The back field where we go walking the dogs has a small stand of conifers next to which is an area of corn-on-the-cob-type-corn which is grown for the express use of pheasants.

It's there to encourage them to grow as obese as possible so that pissed old solicitors and estate agents in stupid clothes and Range Rovers can stand a chance of drilling them with lead shot to the amusement of rude mechanicals with straw in their mouths.

Anyway, now that the track between the wood and corn has been covered in snow for a while it is showing up the paths of small creatures who make their way between the two areas in what appears to be a very organised manner. They have little junctions, bridges and tunnels and seem to be coping very well with the conditions without getting paranoid about grit shortages and panic buying.

I don't know if they are mice, rats, stoats, weasels or possibly even a small society of tiny heeby-jeebies. See what you think:

22 comments:

Dave said...

Does David Attenborough realise his job is under threat?

I believe, by the way, that those were the tracks of a gryphon (64 points).

Elizabeth said...

Rog, it's obvious: aliens. From the planet Magongo. I've seen them before (but let's keep it our secret, OK? They'd kill me if they knew I'm divulging their identity ;).

Sarah said...

Speaking as one of the arses, I would say given the proximity to a feeder they are defo rats. You need string tied round your trousers Rog, to stop them running up....Norfolk poacher stylee

Timorous Beastie said...

They are the tracks of tiny pheasants that have evolved to live in holes and thus avoid estate agents and solicitors.

Rog said...

Dave: I could be Dickie rather than Dave!

Elizabeth: Magongo? It must be time for dinner!!!!

Sarah: I have to say, you are one of the nicer arses. I'm only going by the facebook pictures of course.

Timorous: It's Darwin in action! All we need now is the price of houses to fall ....

Geoff said...

Can you do a "making of" video like they did in Life?

Annie said...

I don't know, but that was a very charming video. I hope it's hedgehogs, we need more hedgehogs.

Macy said...

Oh all around Cheesetown we have tracks of rabbits and birds... and a LOT of those tracks end in blood stained snow; because the cute wee dog like paw tracks are FOXES.

Scarlet Blue said...

...I saw that! Blood stained snow and a pile of feathers.
Sx

Roger said...

Geoff: It will be an extra on the DVD. I'm changing it to "The Meaning of Life".

Annie: The hedgehogs would have got stuck in the tunnels like some GPS directed drivers. Good to see you still hanging onto the blogging baton!

Macy: Did you see last week's Horizon where the nice silver foxes were bred with the nice ones to turn them into docile puppies? I suppose in the wild the nice ones end up with the grumpy old arses though.

Scarlet: It could have been a bird spilling the cranberry sauce from his sandwich. Or a mice film-unit doing a new series of Silent Witness.

zIggI said...

shooting peeasants sounds like fun, does one have to be a solicitor or estate agent? (estate agent?? surely they're a type of peasant worth shooting at (as are solicitors of course)) Do you have to have a Range Rover and Stupid Clothes though because I can't afford a Range Rover although my current clothing get up IS quite thick, the snow you know...definitely rats, those tracks, clever things rats but it's ferrets that run up your trouser leg, or is it down in Norfolk?

Rog said...

Ziggi: What sort of medication are you on dear? Ferrets running down your trouser leg is known a reverse ferret. You could be a "beater" but that involves a lot of forelock tugging.

KAZ said...

Obviously moles.
Why don't the arseholes shoot them instead?

Rog said...

Kaz: Good plan - then they'd be arsemoles. My Mole trauma has re-emerged now the snow is melting and I can see all the mole movement.

Robert Swipe said...

"...corn-on-the-cob-type-corn which is grown for the express use of pheasants"

I suppose in this sort of weather, you'd want to eat it pretty quickly, wouldn't you?

Contrary to received wisdom, us Townies are not bereft of the odd wild creature in our midst ourselves (...like other northerners, illegal immigrants and outsiders generally, they come down here for the work, I imagine. That or in search of women who don't need to shave etc.)

For instance, just the other morning, I was able to follow a set of freshly made fox footprints in the snow on my way to the local shops. Honestly, it was like being in a *fucking* Belle & Sebastian song...

Stay waaaarm!

L.U.V. on ya,

Bob

impoftheyard said...

I want to see pictures of a heebie jeebie...

Rog said...

Robert: Fold your hands chils, you walk like a pheasant.


Imp: Hello & Welcome! There are no shortages of pics of the lovely Lily on this blog!

Z said...

I thought it was mice, which leave a trail of pee, until I saw the video, but they'd have to be enormous. Maybe a cross between Lily and a mouse? A Milly? Or a Louse?

Christopher said...

Don't you have coypu in Norfolk?

Or Upyoc, the reverse coypu?

Roger said...

Z: I think CountryPersonSarah knows what she's saying as they do appear to be rat trails. They've even built a chicane now and there's lots of rat footprints around now.

Christopher: I'll try and organize a photocoypyer to see them.

Robert Swipe said...

"you walk like a pheasant."


...so you've seen me doing my Mick Jagger then??

"..Wail orlraaaat! Ar em ther le-ull raid roooooostuh...it's only buttered scones but I like it etc. etc.


L.U.V. on ya,

Bob

Rog said...

Robert: It was actually a reference to Belle & Sebastian....