Sunday, 21 February 2010

R. & B. Special

If you derive your income solely from the application and pursuit of green recycling activities, reallocating pre-used resources to reduce the impact of prime manufacturing on the environment, you might be in danger of becoming a tad smug.

However, as Prius owners will be aware, it's not always easy being a pioneer in the green, green fields. In our case, running an Internet Rag & Bone business from our place of residence is all very well until you wake up one morning and remember where you've seen your living room before:

Time for action methinks!

Must smarten the old place up a bit and put on more of a show for the outside world.

Who to rope in to help?

Well our HR Department have drawn a blank, so I've had to have a word with the CR Department who have put forward the following two candidates.

Head of Security, Commissionaire and Chief Jobsworth :

And for Front-of-House duties, including casting fetching eyelash flutters at visiting reps, polishing pawnails and Guarding the Baker's Complete Shite Cupboard we have a foreign exchange student Mademoiselle Lil:

"Can I 'elp you?"


Sarah said...

You should worry? my kitchen/dining room currently has 2 ongoing paintings/paint and the table is covered in beads for jewelery making! So when oz and the delectable Lil have finished sorting you out I may head hunt them. Tilly can't be arsed.

KAZ said...

We had a beautiful foreign exchange student at my school who was our style model just like Lil.
Oh and how on earth does Mrs Rine balance on one knee like that?

Dave said...

I think I need a foreign exchange student around the place.

Gosh. I've just looked at the wv: swedehot. This is a sign.

Christopher said...

I rang just now and all I got was 9 options for complaint uttered in a foreign accent.

zIggI said...

I think you need to buy Mrs R (athletic though she appears) some new clothes!

Roses said...

I'd hire them. When they've finished sorting out your house, can they do mine?

Rosie said...

Are they any good at clearing books and...erm, stuff that goes back a couple of hundred years?

Scarlet Blue said...

Do they hoover dog hair from the carpets/sofa/duvet/fridge...

Z said...

Tilly just lies on the sofa nowadays and barks every time I pick up the phone (when I say "hello", she assumes it's someone at the door).

I can recommend a way of smartening the house, however. Put a bed in your living room for three weeks and cram the furniture into the remaining space. When you remove the bed, the room will look huge and very tidy.

Rog said...

Sarah: It sound like you live in a hippy commune. I'm sure Lil would love it.

Kaz: You win the prize for first comment to spot the Mrs Rine Statue. Lily looks particularly intelligent in the photo.

Dave: Hot Swede would take the flavour of burnt potato away.

Christopher: Are you sure you hadb't rung Aviva? You never got that with EJ Arnold.

Ziggi: It's a very warm fountain in our reception.

Roses: Er yes, but in actual practice they don't really do "useful".

Rosie: They aren't archaeologists you know.

Scarlet: They hoover anything food related from anywhere under 3 feet from the ground. Which can be quite useful.

Z: Space the final frontier. Can't you get Tilly to answer the phone from the sofa? She was probably on her mobile.

Macy said...

What about a couple of small rodents running endlessly on exercise wheels to generate Rog & Rind's power supply?
Cheesetown can supply squirrels..