Monday, 24 May 2010

Cockerel Chorus

Blogging is such an International thing but occasionally I feel obliged to bring you some local news from rural Norfolk.

In this vein I can alert you to the fact that a villager in Burnham Market, North Norfolk has written to his local council threatening legal action to have cockerels removed from local allotments. A campaign against this perfectly reasonable legal action has had the affrontery to suggest that "If people move to the country they must expect rural sounds."

Whatever next?!!

Having worked in Burnham Market for nearly a decade I feel I can give you an inside track to this story. It is a peculiar little village near Wells-non-adjacent-the-Sea and over the last 20 years has reinvented itself from forgotten rural hamlet to playground of the rich and wealthy. The pub winkled out the locals and turned itself into a "gastro-pub" and before long the village began to relish its nickname of "Chelsea-on-Sea".

It's a village where serfdom is alive and touching its forelock - there is no middle class, only working class or upper class. Obviously there is no such thing as upper class, just middle class people who "think" they are upper class and even more annoying as a result. Locals are expected to sit on walls with straws in their mouth pointing at the BMW's and listening to the horsey braying of retired bankers and other deserving minorities.

Many rich and famous people have holiday homes in the village including Sir John Major who presumably stays there with his long suffering wife Norman.

There are so many annoying cocks in Burnham Market I'm surprised this news story merits a second look.


Dave said...

John Major's home isn't actually in the village, it's a little further east than that - it's quite close to where I also worked, until moving south.

Have they had to muffle the church bells (another annoying country sound) too?

Malc said...

I'm all for sending in the removal vans and sending silly, anonymous (I notice) bastards back to Peckham.
Wouldn't happen in Orkney.

Vicus Scurra said...

I was woken by birds squawking at 4:45 (am) yesterday. They made such a noise I could hardly hear the traffic.

I am not, however, in Norfolk.

Richard said...

I grew up next door to a farmer with a large number of chickens, opposite a wood full of birds and with a large hedged garden. Not once was I ever woken by birdsong, chickens or cockerels, in fact there was hardly any. Now I live in a town, opposite 90 allotments with at least two plots full of chickens directly opposite, surrounded by hedges chock full of birds. I'm woken every morning at 3.30 (yes, 3.30) by an absolute cacophony that I thought I was supposed to be used to. But the worst noise of all are the Subaru Imprezas that you can hear rumbling across town - they all seem to live in my street and the drivers appear to all work nights so I just know that if I hear one in the distance at 6.10, it's just going to get louder and louder.

Jon Storey said...

In Riding Mill the natives have shotguns to deal with these minor irritants. The incomers that is...!

Keep the countryside for the cockerels and church bells!

As the Manx say:

"If you don't like it, there's a boat in the morning"

If you will excuse me, I have to outside and doff my cap!

Scarlet Blue said...

Cockerels? How downmarket. Where I live we are woken by the sound of randy peacocks.

zIgGi said...

I'm surprised really that they can hear them over the whirr of the airconditioning.

Roger said...

Dave: They've probably had to muffle John Major on a Sunday morning. Oh yes!

Malc: It's a bit like the "New Life in the Country" participants moving from the North Circular who can't contemplate a Country property because there is a road a couple of miles away.

Vicus: 4:45am? Birds Squaking? I'm surprised you didn't open the bedroom door and let them downstairs.

Richard: I'm not quite with you - are the Subaru Imprezas a type of screeching Cockerel from southern Europe?

Jon: Is Riding Mill like Royston Vaisey? I think Clarkson should buy Burnham Market and seal it off for his family to play in.

Scarlet: My Country and Western Cousin Randy Peacock can be a bit loud...

ZigGi: The fans are noisier than Carrow Road! (The quietest ground in the Country unless Delia has had a few)

Christopher said...

I think it would be a good idea if you and I and Vicus and Dave and Richard and Malc and all the other yokels that drop in here dressed up in smocks, put straws in their mouths and leggings on their where leggings go and spend Sunday mornings in Burnham Market playing knock the knocker (you know, where you k. the k. or ring the bell and run away) and guffaw loudly round the corner. Actually now I come to think of it I believe Dave is usually otherwise occupied on Sunday mornings but maybe this is just a blind.

Geoff said...

It doesn't look like any market I've been to.

Rog said...

Christopher: We used to call that game "knock down Ginger" where I come from. I'd love to have Chris Evans included in the side.

Geoff: I bet you've been to Gravesend's very similar.

Dave said...

Rog, have you been showing your artical again? I thought there was a restraining order.

Rog said...

Now I've deleted the spam the artical story has been subject to a D Notice by my good friends Sue, Grabbit & Runne.