Tuesday, 9 February 2016

One of my many rejection letters ....

Channel Four Productions
Portcullis House
London WV2

16th November 1998

Dear Mr P.

Thankyou for your letter of 12th October 1998 containing your suggestion for a new Channel Four programme.

Having given your submission some scrutiny we regret to advise that our commissioning appraisal team see little point in pursuing the matter further. 

The overall idea of an hour long show comprising two estate agents showing people round houses is suspect to say the least. Estate Agents are not highly regarded role models and there is no "aspirational" element in watching ordinary people turning their noses up at houses they don't deserve. The prospect of maintaining interest over a 60 minute programme is, IMHO, zero.

Your other programme ideas have also met with a negative response from our creative team. These included:

A. Six people baking cakes in a tent. (Not even with Joan Bakewell presenting)

B. Michael Portillo sitting on Trains ("We'd rather watch paint dry")

C. Joanna Lumley goes somewhere expensive and patronises the hell out of the locals (Not on our budgets)

D. Two local auction dealers drive around Britain in an old car and buy stuff. (Nope)

E. The keyboard player out of D-Ream goes on a World Tour pointing at the heavens. (Frankly, what are you on?!)

We trust you will understand that we have to be very certain a programme will appeal before we commit substantial production budgets and we trust you will continue to let us have the benefit of your valued opinions and ideas

Yours faithfully

Graham Watson-le-BoƮte
Head of Commissioning


Tim said...

Whatever next? A six part mini-series of War and Peace? Do you have a day job, Mr P?

Pat said...

It must be very disheartening for you. I'm sure at least a couple of those would stand a chance. Better luck next time.

Rose Blackthorn said...

Don't give up, I'm sure you'll come up with a sure-fire winner.

What about a programme looking at the valuables in and amongst the tat that people store?

Rog said...

Tim: now there's a thought!

Pat: they have no taste - as the schedules confirm!

Roses: yes. We could call it Ash in the Cattic ...

Crowbard said...

Never mind the rejections from those likely to plagiarise your excellent concepts. There would be little audience response until The Armoury gets a 'telly' or finds time to watch someone else's gogglebox.