Monday, 2 February 2009

Oz World Mostly

Yes viewers, it is I, Oz. The Tibetan Terrierist.

I know, I know, I didn't really want to get involved with this blogging nonsense and was quite happy to let old Drew P. make a fool of himself whilst I relax on my new comfy basket near the radiator. I'm about as interested as Exeter's team were in the Mastermind quarter finals.

I was quite happy, that is, until an astonishing document came into my paws today that I feel I must share with the blogging World. It has earth shattering repercussions and I will have to organize a campaign of canine disobedience in protest. Here it is:

Yes, if you can't read it clearly let me fill you in with the key words in this document. They are "Oz" and "dog training" and "meet and greet techniques". !!!!!! Far Kennel!!!!

The dozy French bint curled up on my left side as we speak can't read it and will probably go along with anything involving food but as for myself I think this is the biggest cheek since Tony Blair was appointed Middle East Peace Envoy.

I'm blinking 10 years old for goodness sake and if they think I'm going to let some horsey woman in corduroy teach me how to "meet and greet" other dogs they've got another think coming! What will they expect me to do, shake paws? Discuss the weather over a gin & tonic?

I thought you should be kept up to speed with this dramatic turn of events - I'll be back to give you an update on my secret plans to subvert this piece of nonsense. "Meet & Greet" - huh!!!

Bye for now ... the Ozmeister.


Geoff said...

You can put that tongue away for a start, Oz. Even Pete Sampras didn't stick his out at functions.

KAZ said...

If I were you I'd go along and learn the ropes.
You might get a job there as personal tutor to other canines.
Think of the perks.

BTW? University Challenge"??

john.g. said...

Good for you Oz! You're a wizard!

Dave said...

I expect it will be one of those new-age things where you go on an Shamanic journey to meet your inner power animal and learn Mongolian Overtone Singing.

llewtrah said...

I'm sure you'll graduate with honours while Lily may get to wear a hat with a big "D" on it!

Oz said...

Geoff: Game Set & Match. Tim Henman was much more polite - what does that tell us?

Kaz: I already know it all! I suspect Drew has set this up because he thinks the trainer has leather trousers and big lippie. He's in for a dissapointment. And because of the location, he's in for a Diss Appointment! (See...I could do this blogging stuff easy!)

JonnyG: Wizard of Oz!!! I see what you did there Jonny boy!

Dave: There's a lot of detail there, Dave. You haven't simply copied it out of your Rutland itinery from last week? I could do some tree hugging but would be worried about the bark.

Oz said...

Llewtrah: Gosh, you are so incisive! She'll think the "D" is just the French definite article. "'ave you seen d 'at" etc.

Z said...

Your picture doesn't so much say 'meet 'n' greet' as 'accost and expel'. I shouldn't have anything to do with it if I were you, Oz.

Oz said...

Z: You are spot on! I didn't become a Tibetan Terrierist to join the diplomatic corps! Fight 'n Bite might be a better motto.

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

I'd like to hear more about dozy French bints.