Troubles in the Bedroom Department

Sometimes, as you probably realise, when there are "problems in the bedroom department" things are not quite as straightforward as they may appear.

There are always two sides to each story which is why you are offered below two separate versions of the bedroom problems of yesterday evening and you can make your own mind up.




First Here is My Version:



I retired to bed at around 10.00pm and was just settling down to read "Private Eye" when this creature flew in the door and started circling madly within a few inches of my head:

Keeping a cool head, I called out to Mrs Rine to alert her to the danger and opened the bedroom window. The creature became more and more animated , darting around each corner of the room in a demented fashion but eventually flew out into the night.

I leaped out of bed and shut the window. What had been a matter of a couple of minutes had seemed like an eternity.

And here is Oz's Version:

I had just retired to my soft basket in the corner of the bedroom when suddenly I heard the most terrifying scream coming from the bed. At first I assumed it was a TV re-run of Jurassic Park where a boy and girl are cornered by two ravenous and relentless velociraptors, but it seemed it was a fruit bat circling the light bulb.

Mrs Rine, who had been in the bathroom, entered the room and took charge. She opened the window, put the light out and stood in the corner calmly whilst her husband snivelled under the bedclothes muttering about bats biting his neck or being caught in his hair. (I don't know if you've seen his hair recently - if you have you may have been using an electron microscope)

She opened the window and stood still whilst the commotion continued, then quietly shut the window and went back to the bathroom. She was like Sharon Osbourne, getting on with the day-to-day whilst her husband pretended to bite the heads off bats.