Friday, 8 May 2009

Yellow Fever


We travelled the great Northern highway last weekend to spend the week on babysitting duties and took the opportunity to drop "Swine Fever" leaflets through every household on the way - hope we didn't miss you.

As this photo will attest, Lily has progressed a further notch in her "Sats" and now occupies the front "bucket seat" on her own. With me relegated to the back seat and Oz looking slightly peeved in the boot area, we did get some odd looks from people who assumed we were a taxi with a prohibitive "soiling charge".

As we left behind the arid pastures of East Angular and entered the sodden fells and dark satanic mills of the Industrial North, I mulled over the encroaching yellow peril currently overtaking our green and pleasant land like a rather dodgy rash.


Yes, the oil seed has been a little "oily" this year and I am knee deep in hay fever symptoms - itchy eyes, runny nose, queueing at chemist rage etc. It can't be much fun for the poor headless souls who have to guard this yellow menace from the birds, tirelessly on duty amongst the choppy seas of citric with their little green tree islands in the distance.
Once the crop is up to speed these hard working sons of toil are ruthlessly cast aside like postal workers under a New Labour Conservative Government. I found one poor soul propping up a tree in the corner of a field with a can of "Special Brew" under his arm, headless and legless. Where is Joanna Lumley now, I hear you ask.

20 comments:

Liz said...

I don't really suffer from hay fever, but driving home from Brum the other week I was decidedly sneezy and I blame this entirely upon the fields and fields yellow oil seed.

Gets right up my nose!

Sir Bruin said...

Unfotunately, these poor souls will only receive any entitlements after 20 years service. I suppose they might get in on the "Injured in the course of duty" thing.

KAZ said...

Where is Joanna Lumley now?
I'm right here in the 'sodden fells' of Manchester.
Thanks for this post, it's given me a new idea for Kev's next employment. He has a lifetime's experience of lazing around with a can of Special Brew.

Geoff said...

Birds can recognise heads. I've seen my Hitchcock, you know.

Sarah said...

I lurve Lilly's bucket idea, must try Tilly in one, she currently stands on the front seat with her nose pressed up against the windscreen, dribbling quite a lot.

Tilly my dog, not my daughter, though I expect she does the same on a night out

Sir Bruin said...

Liz:
I recall your sneezing on that journey - it's a pity that the wipers aren't fitted on the inside.

Dave said...

They are probably headless so that they can avoid having itchy eyes and runny noses.

Z said...

What? Sarah, I thought Tilly was my dog. Is she moonlighting?

Dave said...

Z, I thought Tilly was your daughter.

Z said...

You mean my daughter is masquerading as Sarah's dog?

Rog said...

Liz: I think it is, although others say s'not.

Sir B. : They've got to keep ahead somehow!

Kaz: I wish Kev's Surname was Mills so he could be referred to as dark and satanic.

Geoff: "Birds" and "Heads" sounds like something out of the early sixties.

Sarah: It's getting silly with Lily and Tilly. Your daughter sounds a feisty young filly.

Dave: Logical, Mr Spock.

Z: Tilly and Tilly both need to start their own blogs so we can get a mental picture of the difference. at the momement there's a confusing surfeit of ladies with daughters and dogs called Tilly.

Sarah said...

Z is your dog a small black scruffy fiesty terrier? in which case she is definately leading a double life.

Daughter actualy much in the same bracket minus the black bit.

Z said...

A terrier cross, but certainly small and black. And the daughter seems to match the description too. Hm. I think I need to come and check your blog and see who else in our families is living a double life.

Rog said...

S & Z: It's a pity you live so many miles apart!

Sarah said...

We don't!

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

I think Rog was applying his razor wit there, Sarah.

Obviously you can't live that far apart, sharing, as you do, both a commuting dog and a daughter.

john.g. said...

Oil-seed rape stinks, but the pigeons only eat it when it first sprouts. My mate shot 400 of them in March!

Rog said...

Dave: "Razor WIt". You have 'comment of the post' award!

John: I'm not sure whether I hate the pigeons or the oil seed most. There's only one way to find out......fight!!!!

Sarah said...

Clearly I missed something here????
Again.
Must keep up