Friday, 8 May 2009
We travelled the great Northern highway last weekend to spend the week on babysitting duties and took the opportunity to drop "Swine Fever" leaflets through every household on the way - hope we didn't miss you.
As this photo will attest, Lily has progressed a further notch in her "Sats" and now occupies the front "bucket seat" on her own. With me relegated to the back seat and Oz looking slightly peeved in the boot area, we did get some odd looks from people who assumed we were a taxi with a prohibitive "soiling charge".
As we left behind the arid pastures of East Angular and entered the sodden fells and dark satanic mills of the Industrial North, I mulled over the encroaching yellow peril currently overtaking our green and pleasant land like a rather dodgy rash.
Yes, the oil seed has been a little "oily" this year and I am knee deep in hay fever symptoms - itchy eyes, runny nose, queueing at chemist rage etc. It can't be much fun for the poor headless souls who have to guard this yellow menace from the birds, tirelessly on duty amongst the choppy seas of citric with their little green tree islands in the distance.
Once the crop is up to speed these hard working sons of toil are ruthlessly cast aside like postal workers under a New Labour Conservative Government. I found one poor soul propping up a tree in the corner of a field with a can of "Special Brew" under his arm, headless and legless. Where is Joanna Lumley now, I hear you ask.