In fact one person actually referred to me as a malignant sociopathic misanthrope with a spleen bigger than Jeremy Clarkson and a bile driven hatred for humanity. Still, what does my Mum know, eh readers?
Just to prove that I can rejoice in the uplifting and the life-affirming, let me offer you some heartwarming joyous news that will make you grin helplessly with pure happiness.
Yes, Noel "Tidybeard" Edmonds has opened box number three at the age of 60 and found the love of his life - make-up artist Liz Davies. They married the other day in the Gloucestershire Village of Lower Slaughter, spookily named after what his House Party Programme did to a bloke who fell off a crane. "You couldn't make this up love" - those are my comments on the happy event, and also Noel's first words to young Liz (40).
Let's raise a glass to Mr Tidybeard and let his happiness be our happiness....let's not give way to cheap anti-celebrity jibes about his appearance or the remains of Blobbyland Morecambe which the ratepayers are still forking out for. Let's raise a glass of good cheer to Noel and Liz and wish then a long and happy marriage!
Here's a picture of the happy couple taken at the reception.
12 comments:
"What's that you've got there, Noel?"
"Blobby blobby"
Of course the real love of his life is himself.
So, Liz, what initially attracted you to multi-millionaire Noel Edmonds?
Well, at least I know that all the young women who flock after me aren't after me for my money.
Lower Slaughter is a gorgeous village!
Well I'm more like his size and his age.
But I wouldn't touch him with a disinfected barge pole!
So he has to make do with attractive young women and a box.
Poor Noel.
Ah, a meeting of great minds and great amounts of Botox.
Was Noel wired up to the mains in the second picture? I hope there was a power surge.
Richard: I can see you are a fan.
Geoff: Mrs Merton Lives! I think Liz is her make up name.
Dave: But can you be sure?
John: He probably owns it. Blobbyland in Morecambe is rubbish.
Kaz: Think of all that effort he goes to though. Holding his stomach in and doing such difficult presenting on "Deal or No Deal".
Betty: He travels around in his own helicopter. I think he may have been trying to jump start his chopper.
You are all very cruel....
So what do you have that all these young ladies are after Dave..?
Sarah: I think they may me attempting to get their hands on his plums.
They've heard about my DIY skills.
Dave: Less Barry White and more Barry Bucknell.
I must confess that when I heard the glad tidings "Noel Wedding" I was very shocked. I assumed Jonathan Ross was introducing the Jimi Hendrix bassist who died 5 years ago.
Hmmm, Dave, a man who is good with his hands
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