Sunday, 23 August 2009

Scotch Missed

It's not many years since a Scottish accent was regarded as somehow more trustworthy than a twanging Estuary English voice, weasly whining Welsh or a wacky and unreliable Irish brogue. Other regional accents such as Vernon Kaye Bolton or Paul Gascoigne Geordie speak for themselves... they are quite entertaining to listen to but you wouldn't trust them to look after your car insurance.

It used to be conventional wisdom that if you were setting up a telephone call centre, the ideal gold standard would be Edinburgh. Those dulcit, attractive Scottish tones would seduce the most irate customer and leave everyone feeling they were dealing with a sound and caring organization.

Earnest and honest Scots who helped build up this impression of their race were all around, whether it was Jackie Stewart, Barbara Dickson, Sean Connery or Robert Carlisle. In politics the Scots abounded with such highly regarded conviction politicians as John Smith and the only senior Labour Minister to resign over the Iraq War, the much missed Robin Cook.

Sadly, the lingua franca of Scottish solidity has been devalued in the last three years faster than the Zimbabwe dollar. A succession of high profile Scots have done to our economy what John Major was doing to Edwina Currie and the currency is as muddied as the Clyde.

Gordon Brown - promised a caring modern Socialist State but ended up merely running after Murdoch headlines like a frightened chicken.

Alistair Darling - "Darling I shrunk the economy". London Born but Scots by upbringing.

Sir Fred Goodwin - Born in Paisley but most people consider him to have no parents. Once failed in the Highland Games Caber section as he was such a useless tosser.

and now

Alex Salmond - "The Toast of Tripoli" after helping release mass murderer Al-Megrahi for a hero's welcome back home.

One suspects he assumed it was "Al McGrahey" and therefore automatically deserving favour and subsidy.
Sorry Scotland, you've blown it.

(If I haven't managed to upset you in this posting, please accept my apologies. As a 50% Scot myself I'm not half bothered).


Geoff said...

The Libyan author Hisham Matar summed it up in The Guardian yesterday when he said his father is a political prisoner in Libya, currently listening to the celebrations of the prison guards.

KAZ said...

I see what you mean Rog!
Vernon Kaye for PM and maybe Peter for Chancellor.
And perhaps the Krankies could do a better job than Alex Salmond.

Mr London Street said...

The evidence that he did it seemed a bit sketchy. Heaven forbid that judicial decisions be made on judicial rather than political grounds.

Dave said...

I must say it's been fascinating to learn that in America the term 'compassion' has no meaning.

Malc said...

I'm somehow proud to live in a country that allowed a dying man one last look at his home, no matter what he did - and that's a subject for debate. My rule of thumb is that if the Yanks don't like it, then it's probably a good thing.

Spot-on about dear, pathetic Gordon, though. He's even taken to claiming to support English sports teams - how unconvincing is that? I'm surprised he dares show his face in Kirkcaldy.

Dave said...

I'm with Malc on this (in case my previous comment wasn't clear). I too am proud that our justice system has space in it for compassion (which I read in the Times today is an unknown concept in America).

Dave said...

The American legal system, I meant.

Geoff said...

I'm with David Cameron on this if you can believe a word he says which I believe you can't.

Roses said...

I'm with Dave, who's also with Malc. Good Lord, this is turning into an episode of Jerry Springer.

I'm not at all Scottish and I'm not at all offended!

Rog said...

I'm with the Woolwich.

I like a bit of McControversy but sadly nobody is standing up to show compassion for Sir Fred Goodwinnings.

Thanks to everybody for their contribution to this edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show - next we're back to Terriers in Pushchairs!!!

Sarah said...


john.g. said...

Wankers! All of them!