Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Graphology, Gardening and Control Freaks

Mention any aspect of gardening to anyone under 30 and you can watch their eyes glaze over.

This struck me today when I was thinking about my lovely back lawn and the ruinous activities of the mole underneath. If I were 25 I'd probably not worry at all about the mole and treat him as an unseen low maintenance pet.

Lawn maintenance also brings out the control-freak in all of us, which again develops over time.

I'd like to illustrate this concept with a couple of graphs.


Aside from a minor blip when a 10 year old is happy to sew seeds in the garden, the concept of gardening doesn't really click in until around 45 when it takes off like a Russian Vine in extra strong compost. Then there is the urge to control one's surroundings:


This brings a dangerous combination to anyone over 50 with moles, which must be why you are advised to report unusual mole movements to a medical person immediately.

On second thoughts, the above graph would be slightly different if I remove all male data from the equation:


I'll ge me coat......

13 comments:

Dave said...

I dug up my entire lawn. I have no trouble with moles now.

Z said...

Mm, sweetie pie. Control freak I'm not, and moles are welcome in my lawn. Any time.

Dave, I get moles in the veggie garden too, and in the greenhouse. Just digging up your lawn doesn't make you safe. But have you seen their broad spade-like hands and their lovely little noses? Who could resent a mole?

Geoff said...

I have recently developed a love of sitting in the garden but bollocks to doing any work on it.

Vicus Scurra said...

I am strangely in accord with Dave. I have not yet dug up my lawn, but only because of laziness. I don't apply weedkiller to it, don't bother about moles or any other immigrants. I am much older than even you, but I find that lawn neglect has not had an adverse effect on my sanguine view of the universe.

Macy said...

AHEM by "remove male data" you OBVIOUSLY meant "remove data collected by biased / incompetent male researchers.

Good. Glad to clear that one up. Hem Hem.

zIggI said...

I remember when I thought Jasper Carrot was funny too.

:)

KAZ said...

And what's wrong with being a control freak?

Rog said...

Dave: I dread to think what's under your patio though.

Z: As soon as I can lay my hands on them I'll send them over. By post.

Geoff: I read your comment quickly and it sounded more painful than it really was.

Vicus: I happen to know that you are 37. Dave told me.

Macy: I bet you're one of those people who keeps writing "to do" lists....:-)

Kaz: It's ok now. I've checked with Mrs Rine and she says it's alright.

Rog said...

Ziggi: That was uncalled for. Like I was as a lad.

Sarah said...

Well I'm in the 45 - 55 age range and I am still waiting for the urge to tidy the garden, to kick in.
Not sure how it fits in neatly with the *I can't be Frikin arsed to sweep out cobwebs* attitude though...

Control feak?...moi? I think not.....never mind the coat, get those running shoes on.

Rog said...

Sarah: I get the impression your garden comprises 22% of Essex so it doesn't really count. You could always get a man in.....

Alan said...

As my blog is now almost completely about gardening, I can relate.

Rog said...

You need to change your name to Doug, Alan!