Saturday, 27 March 2010

Back to Front

Yesterday evening I glanced out of the tiny garret window from my travails and was struck by this weather front moving in from the South.

On the Guardian Science Podcast there was a bloke who had investigated the funniest joke in the World. It was like an old Monty Python sketch where they invented a lethal wartime joke so powerful that developers could only work on it one word at a time.

Apparently it's this:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment.

"I think you'll find, Watson, " he says slowly, "that some bastard has stolen our tent."

(No, me neither)

PS Did Mike Nesmith's Mum invent Tipp Ex? Correct me if I'm wrong.

18 comments:

Dave said...

Why do they say the old ones are the best?

'Tis mystery all (as Mr Wesley said).

Sarah said...

I met Mike Nesmith in a bar in Venice once (Harry's for those in the know), I forgot to ask what his mum did of note.

No sorry it was Micky Dolenz I met, sat next to him on the plane on the way home too....if your interested...no..oh ok
Mike was the hat....

FAAAAAB picture!

Madame DeFarge said...

Nope, it was Mike Nesmith's mum who did the tippex thing. I have it on good authority from Wikipedia. And a pub quiz from last year, where that was the winning answer. I knew it would be useful sometime soon.

Christopher said...

Wasn't this joke supposed to make the Hun/Boche (or anyone else) die of laughing? Dave, Sarah and I seem to have come through unscathed, but you may be taking a big risk unleashing this on your less strong-willed readers without warning. I take it it was properly tested before dissemination?

Christopher said...

...and Mme DeFarge, who must have slipped past while I was stuffing a handkerchief into my mouth.

Z said...

It is, indeed, hilarious. But I suspect that it's the way you tell it, Rog.

Robert Swipe said...

I thought it was Nesquick she invented Rog - *clue's* *in* *the* *name*...

(You have to read that last bit in the voice of the Thompson's phone operator who dealth with complaints about the delays in the company's ability to respond to phone calls around the Christmas 2004 period with the following:

"...er....*hel*-*lo*-*o* ... *TSU*-*NA*-*MI*!...."

Looks like rain your way, then Rog...

L.U.V. on ya,

Bob

Scarlet Blue said...

I too have survived the Saturday morning groan in.
Sx

Rog said...

Dave: We are. I fell out with Bob over his John Wesley Album.

Sarah: Micky Dolenz was....Circus Boy!!! I'm surprised you're old enough to remember the Monkeys.

Madame DF: I'd put Micky Dolenz but covered up my answer with Snowpaque.

Christopher: I realised I've taken a chance letting something as powerful as this out into the public domain contrary to the "Joke non-proliferation Treaty". Or Bob Crow, as he's sometimes known.

Z: You are awful! But I like you!

Robert: I imagine Nesquick came to her in an instant. Unlike the rest of your comment which is abstruce even for you!

Scarlet: If this were Dave's blog he'd have come up with a double entendre and given you one at this point.

zIggI said...

I've heard that one before *SIGH*

Tell me another . . .

Geoff said...

A good dinner and a bottle of wine? Are you sure that's all Holmes indulged himself in that night? He was the Lenny Bruce of his day, you know.

Jon Storey said...

Brilliant old chestnut! Looks as if you had better dig out your wellies.

Or get out on your bike, remember the C2C (Sunderland or Jordan's bust!!) Forecasting snow up here this week...

Sarah said...

You old flatterer! I was in love with Davey Jones for a VERY long time!

KAZ said...

Why do you want to Tippex out the joke?
Yes it's true.

Roses said...

I did a LOL.

Rog said...

Ziggi: You're too demanding for me.

Geoff: He possibly had a fiddle before he went to sleep.

Jon: You are the Michael Fish 'o the North!

Sarah: Did you realise he was only 4ft 7"?

Kaz: As I said when my new Orthotics were installed - "I stand corrected".

Roses: Phew! At last!

Sir Bruin said...

Nice pic - awful joke. One out of two ain't bad, I suppose.

Elizabeth said...

Great joke! And a lovely photo.