Wednesday 18 August 2010

Fish Soup for the Sole

Complimentary Medicine used to be dead simple - your pharmacist would say something like "you're looking very well today!" and that was that. If you were unhappy with your purchase you would simply return the compliment.

As therapies became more alternative and adventurous the euphemism creators have had to work overtime to make them sound palatable to the punter. Who, for example, didn't fancy the tempting prospect of "Collonic Irrigation", a wonderful poetic term evoking thoughts of green pastures and twinkling streams. If they'd left it as the original descriptive "sticking a running hosepipe up your bottom" I think the celebrity following may have failed to be quite so enthusiastic. Well, most of them anyway.

I'm now able to offer you a further sign that civilisation is going down the toilet... Fish Pedicure.

This cod remedy is so ridiculous that I can't even be bothered coming up with a carp load of puns involving fish and feet.

9 comments:

Dave said...

Oh, so that's why they wouldn't show a close-up of Mike Liggin's feet on Look East. He paints his toe-nails.

Rosie said...

It's different from fish fingers though. Probably costs around two hundred pounds a go. Stand in a local ditch and have a pedicure for free.

Geoff said...

"Got any verrucas? I'm sick of these corns!"

Timorous Beastie said...

I've had my feet munched by these little beggars in Japan, but they had a marked preference for men's feet - they like the gnarly bits, apparently.

Rog said...

Dave: He's not known as Mike Leg-end for nought.

Rosie: Thanks for the tip. I'd be concerned about the toads but could wear open toad sandals.

Geoff: Got any termites? Sycophants!

Timorous: I've heard of those Chiro-Suchi Bars.

Betty said...

Didn't Sarah Ferguson employ a human being to carry out a similar job on a regular basis?

Rog said...

Betty: She made the mistake of using a Piranha (Financial Advisor).

Macy said...

You'd need a piranha for the toenails though wouldn't you???

Christopher said...

Why are you advertising Tim Footman's Bangkok to-fu parlour? Something a bit fishy here, if you ask me - backhanders in fish fingers and toes and cod pieces, is that it?