Monday, 8 November 2010

Men in Tights

There used to be an old gag about a bloke who made a fortune selling homing pigeons. He only needed one.

Now the Coalition Government is planning to pull off the same trick.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for private enterprise and promoting a vibrant economy, but one-off sales of public assets have been a complete fiasco under the last three Conservative Governments of Major, Blair and Brown. It's selling off the family silver for peanuts and then paying someone to let us look at it.

Ever since Maggie Thatcher came up with the trick of flogging off British Gas to create a "democratic share-owning population" (which now comprises a handful of European based conglomerates with their own agenda) the fallacy of selling us back public utilities and assets has been an unmitigated disaster.

Whilst other Countries have National well-respected Rail Systems, for example, we have a mish-mash of under-invested regional rail systems run by a bunch of chancers who are effectively being subsidised by millions of pounds worth of public money and just walk away if they are not making a fortune. Our key Hospitals have been sold off in disgraceful PFI (I can't tell you what the "F" stands for) deals whereby we pay guaranteed fortunes to private Companies and the Accountants and Consultants involved make ludicrous unearned income. We even sold off the Government Tax Offices to an offshore based tax-avoiding Company for pity's sake!

Now we are being told that our dwindling National resource, the Forests, is to be flogged off for a one-off "gain" the exchequer. I don't care what "safeguards are in place", this is a privatisation too far.

I'm intending to form a band of merrie men in Thetford Forest where we will fight this madness and ensure that any private development is stopped in its tracks. Who will join me?

All for one and one for all! This is the Big Society in action!

14 comments:

Dave said...

Can I be Friar Tuck?

Timorous Beastie said...

I'll join you by angrily waving my Telegraph and shouting "Leave the bloody forests alone, you Tory bastards."

Zig said...

Can I be Maid Marion?

Rog said...

Dave: As long as you promise not to lapse into Spoonerisms.

Timorous: Irony rules. And think of the trees used to produce the Barclay Bros stuff!

Zig: We'll need horses. And a lot of mead....

Macy said...

Rog - Sometimes I feel defeated by the lack of logic and sense in the world.
Sighs...
Hell, men in tights might work.
Sense, sarcasm and Appeals to Better Judgement are doomed.

Malc said...

I've been surpressing the urge to batter the crap out of Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander with a quarterstaff for several weeks now.

Tim Footman said...

There is a logic to the forest thing. You must have noticed that the sort of people who take over privatised industries are also the sort of people who are really, really into paintballing.

Sarah said...

I'm Sparticus

Z said...

Maid Marion is spoken for. I suspect you've already got a candidate for Willing Scarlet .. Hm .. not Much choice left, I'll have to Miller round as an extra.

Roses said...

Bum...all the good parts are gone. Which means I'll have to play a bloke again.

Fine. I'll be Will Scarlet.

I'm not happy about. Just you remember that.

Rog said...

Macy: sometimes you can't see the wood for the treatise

Malc: let's form a Ginger group

Tom: let's off-road!

Sarah: you put the art into Spacis

Z: not Much choice - very good!

Roses: you could be Willimina Scarlet! Anyway it's a tad wet for the woods today.

Robert Swipe said...

Excellent Rog.

Quite sickening looking at the assembled G20 crew, in't it? - 3 women and a load of dull looking men in suits. A visitor from another planet would only need to look at that group photo of the Earth leadership council to know what a terrible state we're - and be trying to put as many light years between themselves and our ravenous, self-serving species.

Like the idea of the tights though - I have plenty of spares if you're not too worried about them having a crotch...

;)

xxx
Bob

Rog said...

Sorry I'm late!

Zig said...

fed up with being Maid Marion now - lacing up that bodice has become boring and it's the very devil to get out of in a hurry.