I returned yesterday from a pleasant week in the Lake District, staying in a cottage near the Waterfalls in Ambleside and therefore handy for the odd trip up my favourite and most accessible fell, Wansfell Pike. My actual birthday present was a Berghaus Jacket which I got in the sale, which kept me humming "They Might be Giants" all week although the Jacket was only a Large.
Having been out of the media loop for the week (only the week? Ed) I was astonished to come back to the joyous news that one of the most photographed women in the Country, star of every gossip column, has finally succumbed to her attractive, square jawed young beau and allowed him to whisk her off her feet. The Nation rejoices and we all have a warm glow about us.
Yes, Ann Widdecombe continues to humiliate herself on Strictly Come Dancing for our entertainment. Having spent her life judging homosexuals and women, the tables are well and truly turned.
I was feeling a little sorry for her until I read that the contestants in this rather watchable car-crash receive a fee of £10,000 each week thay stay in the contest, so the poor saps on minimum wages who are ringing up to keep the old fraud in contention are helping her towards a possible £100,000 by Christmas. I may be doing her a disservice and she may be donating her fee to Stonewall or Crisis at Christmas for all I know, but seeing as how she spent £9,000 of taxpayers money on her own personal Newspaper Cuttings service one suspects she is merely relishing in the limelight and the cash.
The BBC really are missing a trick with the way they fork out hundreds of thousands of pounds to egomaniacs who would crawl over broken glass to get their leery faces on Television. Better still, I'm sure entertainers (?) such as Jools Holland and Chris Evans would pay the BBC to appear on programmes and we could cut the licence fee in half. As long as we didn't have to watch them. I always watch "Later Without Jools Holland" by slick use of the fast forward button but if I do catch a few seconds of his excrutiating "interviews" I'm really fed up for hours.