Monday, 22 November 2010

A Nation Basks in a Warm Hearted Glow

I returned yesterday from a pleasant week in the Lake District, staying in a cottage near the Waterfalls in Ambleside and therefore handy for the odd trip up my favourite and most accessible fell, Wansfell Pike. My actual birthday present was a Berghaus Jacket which I got in the sale, which kept me humming "They Might be Giants" all week although the Jacket was only a Large.

Having been out of the media loop for the week (only the week? Ed) I was astonished to come back to the joyous news that one of the most photographed women in the Country, star of every gossip column, has finally succumbed to her attractive, square jawed young beau and allowed him to whisk her off her feet. The Nation rejoices and we all have a warm glow about us.

Yes, Ann Widdecombe continues to humiliate herself on Strictly Come Dancing for our entertainment. Having spent her life judging homosexuals and women, the tables are well and truly turned.

I was feeling a little sorry for her until I read that the contestants in this rather watchable car-crash receive a fee of £10,000 each week thay stay in the contest, so the poor saps on minimum wages who are ringing up to keep the old fraud in contention are helping her towards a possible £100,000 by Christmas. I may be doing her a disservice and she may be donating her fee to Stonewall or Crisis at Christmas for all I know, but seeing as how she spent £9,000 of taxpayers money on her own personal Newspaper Cuttings service one suspects she is merely relishing in the limelight and the cash.

The BBC really are missing a trick with the way they fork out hundreds of thousands of pounds to egomaniacs who would crawl over broken glass to get their leery faces on Television. Better still, I'm sure entertainers (?) such as Jools Holland and Chris Evans would pay the BBC to appear on programmes and we could cut the licence fee in half. As long as we didn't have to watch them. I always watch "Later Without Jools Holland" by slick use of the fast forward button but if I do catch a few seconds of his excrutiating "interviews" I'm really fed up for hours.

Pip pip!


Christopher said...

I thought your title referred to your welcome return from the Lakes District.

Not having UK TV, I see I was right.

Dave said...

I have no idea what this is all about.

I would not be prepared to dance in public for £10,000. Just thought I ought to make that clear, before I am approached for the next series.

Rosie said...

You can see all this for free in the "Hole 'int Wall" in Bowness on Windermere.

Rog said...

Christopher: Put your bunting away! You are missing good stuff as well....TV Burp, The Trip, Have I Got News, er...

Dave: Once you've been made famous by conducting the cheapskate wedding next year the fee may have gone up.

Rosie: It was 1612 when the "Hole 'int Wall" in Bowness was completed. Sadly I'd gone back to Ambleside by 1530.

Sarah said...

Aaaw TV Burp...funniest prog on telly. Tho' at the moment watching Dr Gillian 'poo watcher' McKeith doing her daily attention seeking fainting fits comes a very close second.
PS I love strictly!

Roses said...

I hang my head in shame that I am completely unaware of this phenomenomenomena (sorry, wasn't sure where to stop with that).

Unfortunately, you blog post does not lead me to seek out this enlightenment. Instead, I will go and sit under my table and swig meths from a plastic bottle.

Geoff said...

I don't see many tweets about SCD though far too many about the X Factor.

We fast forward through Jools at a fair old rate of knots. We are the prunes to his stodge.

Sir Bruin said...

The Smaller Bear and I are rather keen on SCD. However, we are continually appalled at the contestants that the viewing public choose to keep in at the expense of those who can actually dance a bit. As Number One (who is wise beyond his years) says, "People are intelligent, the public is stupid."

Sir Bruin said...

Oops, that should read, "Number One Son".

Rosie said...

So you didn't quaff with Dickens, then?

Z said...

I gather that she is not voted out because people enjoy laughing at her. Seems fair enough to me.

I've considered giving up the television altogether as we watch it so little. However, unless austerity cuts remove the perk, the Sage will be entitled to a free tv licence next summer. I'll probably watch a whole lot of flimflam then, just because it's free.

Rog said...

Sarah: I started watching "Dr" McKeith but then decided it was just going through the motions.

Roses: You are missing a treat! Cabernet Sauvignon is much better than meths.

Geoff: The X-Factor is providing a watercooler moment for idiots. I use the remote on Jools like they used to use a big hook in music hall days (I believe)

Sir B: I'm afraid it depends on the demographic. Blokes weren't voting otherwise Michelle and Felicity would still be in.

Rosie: I'm from North Kent where we used to have to drive miles to find a pub that Dickens hadn't drunk in.

Z: Flimflan was better when it was presented by Jonathan Ross.

Madame DeFarge said...

I have only just begun watching SCD, having had visitors who wanted to watch it. I retain a fond hope that we may yet see Ms Teresa May on it in future years.