Monday, 28 January 2013

One of my many rejection letters....

Channel Four Productions
Portcullis House
London WV2

16th November 1998

Dear Mr P.

Thankyou for your letter of 12th October 1998 containing your suggestion for a new Channel Four programme.

Having given your submission some scrutiny we regret to advise that our commissioning appraisal team see little point in pursuing the matter further.

The overall idea of an hour long show comprising two estate agents showing people round houses is suspect to say the least. Estate Agents are not highly regarded role models and there is no "aspirational" element in watching ordinary people turning their noses up at houses they don't deserve. The prospect of maintaining interest over a 60 minute programme is, IMHO, zero.

Your other programme ideas have also met with a negative response from our creative team. These included:

A. Six people baking cakes in a tent. (Not even with Joan Bakewell presenting)

B. Michael Portillo sitting on Trains ("We'd rather watch paint dry")

C. Joanna Lumley goes somewhere expensive and patronises the hell out of the locals (Not on our budgets)

D. Two local auction dealers drive around Britain in an old car and buy stuff. (Nope)

E. The keyboard player out of D-Ream goes on a World Tour pointing at the heavens. (Frankly, what are you on?!)

We trust you will understand that we have to be very certain a programme will appeal before we commit substantial production budgets and we trust you will continue to let us have the benefit of your valued opinions and ideas

Yours faithfully

Graham Watson-le-BoƮte
Head of Commissioning


Scarlet Blue said...

Oh dear. This is what happens when you are ahead of your time. My idea regarding a series concerning the running of a hotel in Torquay were similarly rejected in 2001.

Anonymous said...

I don't know whee you dream up these ideas Rog! Sad really........

Anonymous said...

I don't know whee you dream up these ideas Rog! Sad really........

mig bardsley said...

The thing is Rog, you need to get real. Innit.

Zig said...

I'm not surprised really Rog, they're crap ideas. Try harder.

Martin said...

If only Nick Knowles had been reinvented back then, you might have been in with a chance.

Nota Bene said...

Gosh...have you only just got that. Second class post is not what it used to be is it?

Tim said...

Presumably the one about women cycling around in the fifties clutching medical bags failed because you couldn't deliver it.

broken biro said...

I'd like to know what new programmes you're suggesting now... just so we can be warned what to expect next!

Steerforth said...

I gave up trying to make sense of it all the day I read that Frank Bough was caught snorting coke with prostitutes, whilst wearing suspenders.

Remember at how we all used to laugh at Endurance on the Clive James show? Those Japanese were mad! Trying to survive in a jungle, eating disgusting things to earn points? It'll never happend here.

janerowena said...


Macy said...

Does this Graham person still have a job??

Mike and Ann said...

Thjer's nothing wrong with the wireless - when it works, it's quite a good idea. But the idea of grafting moving pictures onto it will never catch on. How can people be expected to get on with their work of an evening when they've got to sit and concentrate on watching something else?
Mark my words, it can only lead to shoddy workmanship.
Annonnymouse- Can't spell that - it's Mike really.

Mike and Ann said...

P.s. Sorry - I forgot the bit about the country going to the dogs. And that reminds me, I don't remember reading any comments by Vicious Scurrilous lately. I hope it hasn't all been too much for him.

Rog said...

Scarlet: It would be a little bit non-PC nowadays anyhoo.

Jon: In the bath.

Mig: It's a bit like the Alaskan lottery. You have to be Inuit to winit.

Zig: I'm deflated.

Martin: Nick Knowles is up there in my top ten with Noel Edmonds.

Nota: Most of your posts are first class!

Tim: I believe it was sold to South Africa as a Natal series.

Broken: I had an idea about someone being murdered by a giant cheese. Then I watched Midsummer Murders last week.

Steerforth: Whatever happened to "Maria PRAKATTAR"?

JaneR: I thought so at the time!

Macy: You're confusing me with someone who's interested.

Mike: ..or MikeAnn_on_a_mouse! Radio is a lovely medium I must admit. The Scurra was last seen heading off to his spiritual home in North Korea. A bad Korea move I thought.