Sunday, 1 August 2010

I'm Sorry

I've just got back from 40 days and 40 nights on the M6 and A14 to return to the Desert Homelands of East Angular. The Eastern Daily Press is awash with news of a man "assaulted outside the Chip Shop in Dereham" but locals are wondering whether any vinegar was involved. The Police had bigger fish to fry and decided he was just in the wrong plaice at the wrong time.

Our journey home was punctuated with occasional flurries of Radio 4 but the highlight was listening to the last episode of Series 53 (Yes, 53!) of the redoubtable "I'm Sorry I haven't A Clue".

The section parodying "Just A Minute" had me nearly rocking the steering wheel on the A14 and pulling off into a double entendre, so at risk of becoming the blogging equivalent of recycling merchant Keith Chegwin here are a few wordy gems from the show.

"Words need to be precise to convey meaning - it's not Rocket Salad"

"I found recently there are two types of 'elegance'. There's Indian Elegance with smaller ears..."


Internet - Where England Players fail to put the ball.

Balderdash - A rapidly receding hairline.

Phlegmatic - Battery Operated Handkerchief

Warehouse - A person who turns into a house at a full moon.

Asterisk - The chances of being hit by an asteroid.


Dave said...

I was listening to R4 (Test Match Special) on Long Wave. I've probably spent too much time surfing.

Geoff said...

Have you read Barry Cryer's Pigs Can Fly? I was in tears.

Vicus Scurra said...

You avoided the mention of "batter". I am not sure whether to welcome this as a sign that you are getting better, or wondering whether your standards are slipping.

Lesley said...

Note to self: Don't read this blog while eating breakfast, you'll only end up with cornflakes and milk on the monitor. Eating and laughing at the same time is never a wise move.

Rog said...

Dave: TMS would have had me off the road with tedium in 3 minutes. Long Wave - I get it!

Geoff: I must look it up. His best joke ever was "Who led the Pedant's Revolt?". Answer "Which Tyler". Man's a National Treasure.

Mrs Trellis: I think it must have gone straight over my head.

Lesley: Ah, that's what you need on a Monday morning! I wonder if this blog should be called "Small Flakes of Corn".

Jon Storey said...

I too endured a trick drive home while listening to this!

Timorous Beastie said...

Ah, this made my day, especially "warehouse".

Rog said...

Jon: A Trick Drive?

Timorous: That was my favourite!