Thursday, 14 October 2010

A post for Little Pand and others...

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. Her brother-in-law turned up in a hired van to help.

On the second day, she had the removal men come and collect all her things, but left loads of stuff she had paid for out of her own money such as the beautiful fitted kitchen.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at the beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimps, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room in the house and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left... When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit.. Repairmen refused to work in the house.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local estate agents refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.



Annie said...

Love it x

Dave said...


Christopher said...

Wonderful, Rog. Thank you. Really set my day off on the right foot.

Annie said...


Scarlet Blue said...

It's a wise woman who knows seafood tricks.

Pearl said...

HA! Well told.


Madame DeFarge said...

I shall watch to see if M. DeFarge develops an unhealthy interest in seafood.

PixieMum said...

Love it.

It is like the 1970s story of the dumped girlfriend of an airline pilot who dialled the New York speaking clock and then left the phone off the hook. He returned from a long haul flight to a bill of over a £1000.