Monday, 7 May 2012

Post Modernism

As business users of the Royal Mail and enthusiastic supporters of them (and their Public Owned independence), we were delighted to receive a special letter last week from them addressed to our Managing Director.

After much deliberation about which one of us is the Managing Director, Mrs Rine opened the letter from Darren, Delivery Sector Manager for the Wymondham (Norfolk) Area.

There was slight surprise to find Darren was based in, er, Plymouth, but he had gone to the trouble of writing two sides of A4 to us so we read it avidly to find out what important news and information he had to unfold.

To save you the tedium of a full transcription, I've highlighted the key news points as follows:

Dear Sir/Madam,
Important Information blah blah I am the Royal Mail Delivery Manager for your area . I am making some changes to the way my team in Wymondham deliver to your address. Blah Blah Blah modernise the way we operate blah blah blah fewer letters blah blah blah lots more packets blah blah blah new equipment.

We will continue to deliver in the morning and for a longer period during the day blah blah blah blah the time of your standard delivery will depend on where you are located on the new or existing  route. This may be LATER or (*wait for it*) POSSIBLY EARLIER than you're used to.

I'm sure you understand blah blah blah rhubarb rhubarb (etc etc)

Yours faithfully

He is 350 miles from HIS team here in Norfolk so one has some sympathy with him not knowing exactly what the effect of his changes will be but then WHY BOTHER TO WRITE?!!!!

Come on Royal Mail, slimline, localised management is what's needed to keep you operating flexibly and with the public's backing.


Tim said...

You don't honestly believe that Darren is in Plymouth, do you? Or that he exists? Virtual Darren is in Mumbai, on a hard drive.
As to why he bothered to write, well, Royal Mail need as much traffic as they can drum up, don't they?

dinahmow said...

Perhaps Darren(in Plymouth or Mumbai) could expedite such rail services as are currently [not]on offer?
Or at least pay for my shoe repairs, since I've spent rather a lot of time walking between stations.

Macy said...

Why did he bother to write??
Struth Rog, he worksn for the Royal Mail. You don't expect him to TEXT do you???

Macy said...

On mobile...told you there would bespellink problims

Anonymous said...

Dithering dingbats ;)

Martin said...

Interesting post.

Sir Bruin said...

Is your MD going to write back and point out that, depending on whether your company falls on a new or existing route and the deliveries are either earlier, later or at the same time as at present, this may or may not affect your business in a positive or negative manner?

Pat said...

If the A4 is blank on one side double it and you have two blank sides to test scrabble words:)

Z said...

Al did overtime the other day - he went out on his bike four times, cycled over 15 miles round Harleston and carried the equivalent of his mother's plus his brother's weight in post. He's pretty slimline and localised as a consequence.

Roses said...

Good grief, why didn't they save the tree? What a waste, for that pile.

Nota Bene said...

They're still delivering to you? Surprised the letter didn't get lost in the post...

Rog said...

Tim: you're such a cynic!

Dinah: hadn't you heard? We all fly everywhere now darling!

Macy: Yes I suppose so. But he didn't use a stamp so missed a trick there.

Gabby: Great Gallah!

Martin: Second class I'm afraid

Sir B: Perfect response but I've missed the moment

Pat: Some good will come from it yet

Z: I bet he's enjoying it then?

Roses: it's a missed-tree

Nota: it proves a point I suppose

Anonymous said...

Is it PC to say "What a load of bollocks!" Sadly, no wonder they are going bust.....